


My Mind is Going a Mile an Hour

by TurtleInABasket



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Adrien Agreste needs a nap, Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Adrinette | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bird Puns, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, How Do I Tag, Identity Reveal, Marichat | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Is So Done, Marinette is the best girlfriend, Minor Background Djwifi, No angst here, Not Canon Compliant, Overuse of italics, Plagg Is So Done (Miraculous Ladybug), Pre-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Sleep Deprived Adrien Agreste, Sooooo many commas, and commas, no beta we die like men, scritches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleInABasket/pseuds/TurtleInABasket
Summary: Drunk on sleep-deprivation and losing brain cells by the minute, Adrien stumbles into class on a Monday morning and makes a horrific mistake. At least that's what you'd assume from the way Marinette's eyes are bulging out of her head.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 25
Kudos: 419





	1. Tuppence A Bag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored out of my mind at work about a year ago and wrote this chapter, but never had the guts or inspiration to finish it. Enjoy my rage-fueled, sleep-deprived, writing extravaganza. Rated T for not-Disney-World-appropriate language. Also, this is my first ever fic so please be kind, but also do not hesitate to offer up any advice or correct any mistakes you find. :) Special thanks to my BABILA for proof-reading even though she knows next to nothing about the fandom, lol.

It was the worst Sunday ever. The worst fucking Sunday in the history of the entire universe, and no, Adrien was not being dramatic in the slightest.

_ Why me _ ? He blamed this glorious day on his absolute shit luck. 

But alas, here he was, running across the rooftops of Paris in his skintight leather catsuit on the  _ hottest day of the year _ . It was asinine; it was May, just last week they’d had snowflakes falling from the sky, but now Mother Nature decided to screw with him and have him sweating his flesh off under the beating sun.

It was ludicrous; Sunday’s were supposed to be good days, days of rest, days of worship, but today, whatever god there was decided to bless Adrien with not only an akuma, but a freaking ridiculous akuma. 

He was going to strangle Hawkmoth when he finally got his hands on him. 

Monsieur Crow. 

Monsieur Crow. 

MONSIEUR CROW. 

What kind of fresh hell was this that Adrien had to deal with Mr. Pigeon’s drunk uncle. At least M. Ramier had a redeeming quirkiness; Monsieur Crow, on the other hand, was a crazy lunatic alcoholic that had just escaped from prison.

What a shit day.

Not even his lady’s quick wit and dashing smile could save him today. Adrien was furious. He was tired, annoyed, peeved, pissed off, seething, practically boiling with anger.

It was just so infuriating. 

Most of all, Adrien dreamed of what the day was supposed to bring. A whole wonderful afternoon spent with his beautiful girlfriend, a perfect reward for having spent the week being dragged straight from school to photoshoots or fittings, without a single moment to sleep for longer than 30 minutes at a time.

A new line was launching for  _ Gabriel _ , and it turned his father from simply an absentee parent to a management nightmare. No longer was Adrien the son he occasionally remembered, he was a product, a pretty face to slap clothes onto like a living Barbie doll.

He wanted to decompress, stare into Marinette’s deep blue eyes and lose himself in the wonderful smile that graced her face whenever he made a particularly awful pun. His princess had promised to bring him a whole plate of deliciously golden flaky croissants, and Adrien almost drooled thinking about shoving them in his face. Dating a fantastic baker had some wonderful perks.

He really just wanted to be in her company. That would be enough. Sure, he savored every delicate kiss she would grant him, but he loved just talking to her. Lying next to her on her bed while twirling her soft locks on his fingers was decidedly all Adrien ever needed in his life. He loved the way her eyes lit up every time he asked about a new design, and he Cheshire grinned whenever she would ramble endlessly about how Jagged Stone had asked her to design yet another album cover. He loved the way her tongue stuck out when she was kicking his ass in Ultimate Mecha Strike III and he loved the way she talked so highly of her best friend, her DJ boyfriend, and a certain “kind and sweet” model. He just loved  _ her _ .

It wasn’t ever meant to go further than a few talks out on her balcony, but the baker’s daughter quickly wormed her way into Adrien’s heart once he realized just how amazing she was. Talking to Marinette as Chat was easy, she was playful and snarky just like a certain lady he knew, and she was so passionate about everything that he couldn’t even comprehend what it must be like to  _ feel _ everything so violently. 

Before he realized, it had gone too far to save. He fell hard and fast, as did she, but there was no way now for  _ Adrien _ to come into the picture when her heart already belonged to Chat. The only way that could work was if he revealed his identity, but he respected Ladybug too much to even fathom the idea until she approved.

More than anything, he wished he could walk hand in hand with her to class, or bring her to his father’s fashion shows, but secret dates in her room and stolen kisses under the cover of the Parisian night would have to do for now.

The worst part was that Marinette would be nothing but understanding and sweet about him abandoning their date, she was just that perfect. If she was looking forward to today with even half of the fervor that he was, it was impossible for her not to be disappointed, yet she’d probably try with all her might to convince him that she was okay as not to make him feel guilty. So yeah, he felt like shit.

When Ladybug was able to distract the crow army with some bread crumbs, Adrien took the opportunity to drop down into an alleyway and send a message to Marinette on his burner phone.

Kitty: Hey princess. I egret to inform you but I’ve been caught up in some fowl play and I really don’t know how long I’ll be hawkupied. (⁎˃ᆺ˂) I’m so so sorry.

Just as his text went through, Adrien felt something suspiciously wet land in his tousled hair. Slowly looking up, he met the eyes of one of those demon birds, resisting every urge that told him to swipe at it and murder it in cold blood and sprinting over the rooftops to catch up with Ladybug.

It was well into the night before he and Ladybug were finally able to purify the akuma, and it bothered Adrien beyond belief that they had spent hours upon hours fighting the most ridiculous villain Hawkmoth had ever created. 

The heroes were so exhausted that as soon as Ladybug used her miraculous charm and restored Paris to normal, they collapsed on the nearest rooftop, not even bothering to fist bump.

“Nevermore, my lady, nevermore,” Adrien heaved as he stared at the night sky.

“Chat, it’s quoth the  _ raven _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be context, but it turned into its own mini-chapter. I apologize for nothing. Thank you for reading! Apparently, my dog would also like to thank you for reading as she is currently sitting on my keyboard like a cat and threatening to delete my important files.


	2. That fast?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk on sleep-deprivation and losing brain cells by the minute, Adrien stumbles into class on a Monday morning and makes a horrific mistake. At least that's what you'd assume from the way Marinette's eyes are bulging out of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make. For some context, if you don’t happen to know, a fluffernutter sandwich is peanut butter and marshmallow fluff between slices of bread. So basically like a PB&J but instead, it’s a PB&F. Anyways, so when the author was a wee little turtle, she decided that she liked fluff sandwiches. Just fluff. No -ernutter, just a marshmallow sandwich. Why my mother ever let me get away with eating those I have no idea. Now I kind of want a fluffernutter sandwich, but I don’t know if I even like fluff anymore. I shall go buy a jar on my next shopping trip and report back with my findings. Oh, enjoy the second chapter I guess, this is where all the good stuff is ;) There is also a large amount of fluff within this chapter. I guess you could say that ch.1 was the peanut butter and ch.2 is the fluff. I’m so sorry, I can’t stop thinking about fluff now...

Adrien awoke to a tiny cat god with stinky cheese breath screaming in his ear that he was going to be late, and of course it was impossible for the kwami to relay his fondness for the boy in any way that resembled affection.

In his drowsy, just-woken-up state, he had to focus very hard on not bopping Plagg on the head like a whack-a-mole alarm clock and instead set his sights on trying to get up. Unfortunately for Adrien, he greatly overestimated how far to the right he was under his sheets, and as he rolled over to get out of bed, he felt his stomach drop and a horrible feeling of dread registered in his brain.

**Flwap** _. _

“Ow.”

_ Floor is nice. This my home now,  _ he thought as he continued to lose brain cells, suffocating in the rug next to his bed.

“Kid, you look like hell.”

“Thank you, Plagg, had no idea that I would resmesble zombie after no sleepin for we...ek straight,” Adrien deadpanned, though it was hard to take his sarcasm seriously as he could barely string together a coherent thought and his voice was muffled from his face residing in the carpet.

“Maybe you should take the day off and recuperate,” Plagg suggested with an uncharacteristic air of concern in his voice when he realized that Adrien wasn’t attempting to get up from the floor.

“No. Gotta see Mari. So pretty. I like her.”

“I would hope so kid, she sort of is your girlfriend.”

Adrien lifted his head slightly and his eyes widened, a dumbstruck look taking over his features. “She’s my girlfriend?”

_ It’s official. My kid is delirious. _

Plagg shook off his overdue revelation. “Come on. You gotta get up before your dad’s assistant finds out that you’re not ready yet.”

“Plaagggggg.”

~~~

On the ride to school, a notification on his burner phone reminded him that he forgot to text Marinette again after the battle. He groaned and held his head in his hand.

_ I am officially the worst boyfriend in existence. _

Mari: Don’t apologize Kitty. I actually had homework to do anyways and I can always bake you croissants another day. Besides, my boyfriend saving the entire city is almost as hot as him missing me ;) Although, the bird puns are not emu-sing. -_-

_ She is officially the best girlfriend in existence. _

He hated that he couldn’t spend as much time with her as he wanted, between his crazy schedule and impromptu rescuing of Paris. Yet, she took it all in stride, never upset with him when he canceled on her last minute and practically refusing any apologies he tried to give, though he did have a bad habit of leaving countless variations of tulips on her terrace since she didn’t seem to notice (she totally did notice). 

She was perfect. And pretty. And smart. And pretty. And kind. And pretty. Did he mention that she was pretty?

Adrien’s thoughts continued to bounce around in his head like the ball in a  _ Brick Breaker _ game and he had the headache to prove it. His shitty luck had struck again when Nathalie ushered him out of the door before he could down a cup of coffee, and even then, he was way too late to get one before class. 

So naturally, he felt as bad as he looked, or at least, as bad as he thought he looked. Turns out, he probably would need to get run over by a bus, twice for good measure, before looking like anything less than straight out of a Calvin Klein ad. In the mirror, he saw giant bags under his eyes and could barely keep them open, but from the outside, it just looked like he was trying a bit too hard to pull off a sexy face, à la Chad Thundercock™.

He practically dragged himself into the classroom 5 minutes late, but a certain ladybug must have been watching over him because Ms. Bustier had been called into Mr. Damocles’ office and the rest of the class was left chatting amongst themselves.

Nino gave him a small wave as he laboriously flung his body at the classroom door to get it open. Nino’s smile faltered as he realized that Adrien’s eyes were glazed over, and he just might have thought his best friend had been hung over if not for the fact that Gabriel would absolutely murder his son without a second thought before allowing him to leave the house providing evidence to fuel attacks on the Agreste reputation.

“Adrien, buddy, you okay?”

There she was. Sitting there with a perfect spotlight on her, rose petals falling in slow motion around her beautiful face, soft piano music in the background. How was she so effortlessly flawless? He could hardly believe that she ever gave him the time of day, let alone agreed to date him. 

“Earth to Adrien.” Nino waved his hands over his friend’s face, but it did nothing to change the entranced, and frankly creepy, way Adrien was looking at Marinette.

He turned his head to Alya who turned her head to Marinette, who was currently as red as her alter ego’s moniker.

The whole class was gawking at the 4 of them now, with Nino placing a gentle hand on Adrien’s shoulder as he fixed Marinette with a thousand-yard stare. Alya and her boyfriend exchanged concerned looks while she mouthed to him, ‘what the fuck is going on?’

The DJ gave her a flabbergasted shrug and went to once again try to get Adrien to stop looking at Marinette like a goddamn serial killer. Waving his hands didn’t work, and neither did shaking Adrien, snapping in his face, or even blocking his view of Marinette entirely. His expression was still solid as steel, and Nino felt more comfortable knowing that Adrien was probably just spacing out and not actually meaning to stare Marinette down as they had previously thought. He was still worried that Adrien wasn’t responding, though he seemed to be breathing and standing well enough.

_ Time to pull out the big guns. _ He smirked as he opened an app on his phone that he’d been wanting to use forever.

_ 3...2...1... _

Adrien was violently ripped from his blissful thoughts as his eardrums were nearly blasted out from his head. 

“WHAT THE FU—“ He realized everyone was watching him. “—DGE, NINO!”

He fixed his best friend with a deathly glare.

“Sorry bro, you were totally spacing. And giving Marinette and the rest of us the heebie-jeebies.”

“Oh, uh, sorry, I guess I’m more tired than I thought I was,” he lied, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

Satisfied with his answer, most of the class went back to their conversations. His 3 closest friends still looked on to him with concern written on their faces, but as Adrien made his way to his desk to sit down, Alya hesitantly turned to her boyfriend, motioning for him to check his texts. Marinette, still pink in her cheeks, brought her head down quickly and began to scribble something down in her notebook.

Adrien locked his gaze on the whiteboard at the front of the class, still processing what had happened. He was staring at Marinette? Long enough for Nino to air horn him? He sighed, at least he was more awake now. Wait, Nino said he was scaring Marinette? His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and then slowly began to soften. Marinette. Beautiful Marinette sitting right behind him, no doubt working on her amazing designs. He turned around in his chair to face her, but she didn’t seem to notice, almost as if she was forcing herself to focus intently on the page, tuning out everything around her.  _ His _ Marinette.  _ His _ , he thought with disbelief. 

He went to prop his elbows up on the back of the chair to get a more comfortable look at her when he noticed the pink polka-dotted Tervis tumbler sitting right in front of her notebook. Sure, the coffee probably had enough sugar to permanently damage his entire organ system with a single sip, not to mention he preferred it black, but he was so tired, and she looked so pretty. If he gave her his best kitty eyes and maybe threw in enough puns to wear her down, she might let him have some of her coffee. Maybe she would even scratch his head as she drew like she did often in her bedroom.

He suddenly found himself standing from his chair and walking up to her desk, though it felt like he was floating. He did his signature flop into her lap and kwami, he missed her so much he almost started purring like a lawnmower as soon as his head fell into her lap as it had done so many times before.  _ This _ , this was home. This was where he wanted to be for the rest of his life.

His eyes closed, he wrapped his arms around her middle and managed to get out, “Mari- can have your coffee?”

“Adrien?!” She squeaked, her face turning even more red than it had been before, if that was even possible, and her eyes at risk of bulging out of their sockets.

Lost again in his dream world, Adrien failed to notice that everyone in the class was once again gaping at him, though this time half of them had their jaws hanging open like snakes and the other half whipped out their phones as fast as possible. Of course, Alya was one of the latter, while Nino was one of the former.

“Mari, please, need coffee,” he mumbled into her shirt. “And scritches,” he tacked on at the end.

“Adrien?!” She squeaked again but didn’t say anything more. He frowned slightly. Where were his scritches? She always gave them to him when he asked, yet nothing was happening. 

Wait.

Adrien.

_ Adrien. _

**_ADRIEN._ **

He was Adrien and this was Marinette and Adrien had his head in Marinette’s lap because Adrien was dating Marinette but really  _ Chat Noir _ was dating Marinette and he was Adrien and  _ not _ Chat Noir and oh my god Adrien had his head in Marinette’s lap when she had no idea that Adrien was Chat Noir and that Adrien was her boyfriend with his head in her lap but  _ she had no idea _ that Adrien’s head in her lap was her boyfriend’s head in her lap and therefore Adrien had his head in his friend’s lap; his friend who he was  _ not _ dating and his friend who  _ did  _ have a boyfriend. A superhero boyfriend who could kick his ass in a millisecond if they weren’t the same person.

No coffee on Earth could shock Adrien’s system as much as it had been right then, springing to his feet to stand in the aisle with a mortified look on his face.

Marinette was beet red and everyone was staring at them and it was all his fault.

“Marinette, I am so, so, sorr—“

From the back of the classroom, there was a snort, and as everyone turned their attention to where the sound had come from, they ended up with their eyes upon Chloe. 

“Adrikins, I know you were homeschooled, but not groping Dupain-Cheng should be a no-brainer. Besides, if you were to grope someone, it should at least be someone who doesn’t have the social standing of a stalk of broccoli.” She raised her eyebrows at him as if daring him to challenge her and absentmindedly went back to filing her nails.

“I was  _ not _ groping Marinette!” He cried with indignation.

Alya grimaced as she went to address Adrien. “I hate to break it to you Adrien, but you kind of were.”

He had never felt so utterly embarrassed. He felt helpless standing in the middle of the classroom, unable to say anything that would help his case. He was drowning in the looks of his classmates and the only life preserver around was Marinette.

“Adrien, can I talk to you?” She asked in her usual nervous and reserved manner, though her eyes held something that he couldn’t quite place, something dangerous.

“Uh, yes, of course, Marinette,” he struggled to get out, his hands now firmly planted into his pockets.

She gave a curt nod and headed out the classroom door with him following her like a lost puppy. The rest of the class was seemingly in shock, the room quiet enough to hear a pin drop, and then out of nowhere,

“WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!” Alix screamed as she gripped the sides of her head.

~~~

Once they were out of Ms. Bustier’s room, Marinette abandoned leading Adrien around like a mother goose in favor of forcibly grabbing him by the sleeve and tugging him into the nearest unoccupied classroom.

Now alone, Marinette no longer had an embarrassed blush on her face, but rather a look that could have turned Adrien into a dead man walking. He faced her nervously, slightly terrified of her sudden and drastic change in demeanor. She crossed her arms across her chest and flared her nostrils, tapping her foot in a way that was all too reminiscent of his implacable father.

Suddenly at the comparison, he began to shrink into himself, hanging his head, focusing his eyes on his shoes and anywhere else that wasn’t her face, and preparing for her to rip him a new one.

“Marinette, words cannot describe how sorry I am and how inappropriate and inexcusable that was and I feel awful and I’m so, so, so sorry.” He admitted, defeated and knowing that there was nothing he could say or do to explain it or take it back.

“I’m really mad, Adrien,” she said, her tone harsh, but still softer than he expected or deserved.

“I’m mad that my boyfriend is a big giant idiot dork who needs to get more goddamn sleep so he doesn’t end up revealing his identity to the entirety of the French population.”

Adrien’s head snapped up as soon he heard her say “boyfriend” and as she continued, the fierce knot in his throat that was beginning to threaten his ability to breathe began to loosen. He couldn’t get words to come out of his mouth, so he just gawked at her with disbelief.

Her arms were still folded, but the look she fixed him with was no longer one of scorn, but of loving annoyance, similar to the look she gave him whenever he told a particularly awful pun. 

She let out an exasperated chuckle. “You silly Kitty, what am I ever going to do with you?” She teased, holding out her arms for him.

He wrapped her in a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of her head and letting out a sigh.

“Mari, I - I don’t know what to say.” He paused for a moment, a look of newfound determination in his green eyes. He pulled back, placing his hands on her sides as she rested hers on his forearms. He looked back and forth between her eyes unsure before his gaze and jaw settled firmly.

“I love you.”

It was her turn to gape at him.

“W-what?” She choked out.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I, Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir, love you. No doubt, no hesitation, no vacillation, no exceptions.” He took a deep breath. “But, I understand that while Chat Noir and I are one and the same, we aren’t to you, a-and if you want to walk away now that you know who I am, I-I would understand.”

She brought her hands up to cup his face, looking at him with so much adoration it nearly killed him. 

“Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir, I, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, love  _ you. All _ of you.

Marinette gave him a small smile and his own grew so much that it lit up the entire classroom. He lifted her up and spun her around, her tinkling giggle playing like music to his ears. Screw everyone else, he was cheesy and romantic, and dammit, if he had a love that made him want to spin her around, then he was going to spin her around.

Once her feet had returned to the floor, Adrien took the opportunity to lean down and meet her lips with his. It was soft and slow, like a love confession kiss should be. They loved each other, so why rush a kiss when they had forever to do this? It was choppy and comprised of many different smaller kisses, broken up by goofy smiles and happy laughter. It was perfect.

Adrien’s face fell suddenly. “Ladybug is going to kill me.”

“I’m sure you’ll be okay.”

“No, Mari, she is going to rip my head off, I broke her trust.” He gulped with terror in his eyes.

“Adrien, I’m sure she’ll understand. It wasn’t on purpose, you didn’t mean to.”

He shook his head. “Mari, this is huge, astronomically huge and gosh we don’t even know  _ each other’s _ identities and I’m really so happy that you know, but it was supposed to be her first. It was supposed to be us, as partners. Mari, I can’t get that back now.”

She sighed and ran her thumb over his cheek. “I’m  _ sure _ she will understand because you didn’t reveal your identity on purpose and it would be  _ ridiculous  _ for her to  _ blame you _ for an accident. Besides, maybe she thinks it’s  _ about time _ for you to know anyway.”

“How am I supposed to tell her?” He whispered softly.

Marinette gave a huff. “Adrien, I am  _ absolutely positive _ that Ladybug will not be mad at you for accidentally revealing your identity to your girlfriend and I  _ know for certain _ that she will want to confess her identity to you. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“Uh, no? Not exactly?”

“You are denser than chocolate fudge.” She rolled her eyes half-heartedly. “Let me spell it out for you. Ladybug. Wants. You. To. Know. Who. She. Is.”

“You can’t know that for certain, Princess.”

“DO I HAVE TO HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE EIFFEL TOWER WITH MY YO-YO AGAIN TO GET THE BLOOD TO FLOW TO YOUR BRAIN??”

Yo-yo. Eiffel Tower. Confessions. Pigtails. Blue eyes. Perfect laughs. Marinette. Ladybug. Maribug. Ladynette. Too much thinking.

Her intense blue eyes met his stunned jade ones.

“You’re Ladybug?” He whispered almost inaudibly.

“Yes!”

“You’re Ladybug?”

“Yes, Kitty.”

“You’re Marinette?”

“Um, well yes, I figured we had already established that.”

“You’re Ladybug!” A smile started to stretch its way across his face and Marinette found herself smiling along with him.

“Yes!”

“You’re Ladybug!”

He gave in to the urge to spin her again, how was he meant not to? This was one of the happiest days of his life. The girls he loved were really the  _ girl _ he loved and she loved him back! They loved each other and it was wonderful! He pressed their foreheads together and they both shared twin dopey smiles, their fingers intertwined.

“You’re amazing.”

“Right back at ya, Chaton.”

He pulled back again, still holding her hands and still with the stupid smile on his face, but he needed to do something serious.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, will you do me, Adrien Agreste, the honor of being my girlfriend?”

There was her perfect giggle again.

“Only if you, Chat Noir, will do me, Ladybug, the honor of being my boyfriend.”

“Even I could never be sleep-deprived enough to refuse that kind of offer.”

  
_fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea for a longer, more dramatic, less crack-y love square fic, so let me know if my writing makes you want to claw your eyes out so I’ll know whether to write it or not. Thank you again for reading, I love reading fluff crack and I’ve discovered that I love writing it even more. The ending fluff was actually planned to be much much shorter, but I found that when I started it, I couldn’t stop. Marichat for the win, the fandom is better than the actual show at this point, canon Marinette is a creepy stalker/molester, buy gold, byeeeeeeeeeee.


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